It’s difficult at times coming back home to live with my parents for a few days. Often, it’s like we live in completely separate worlds.
My parents knew that I studied religion for a while and that I went to a Buddhist meditation retreat two summers ago. Yet, I think they always thought I was a Christian despite the fact that I stopped regularly attending church or even doing prayers before I eat.
I told my mother recently that God doesn’t exist. And then I tried to elaborate that even if God does exist, most people who profess a relationship with God are lying to themselves. In this sense, I suppose I’m a religious elitist like Kierkegaard. I don’t think she understood the second part but shes definitely got the first part. And she really tried to tell me the usual facts, “God created the world, everything we have is from him, etc etc”.
The next day, I told my Dad that if I could do anything I wanted without any hindrances, I would devote myself to doing Buddhist meditation for some time (well, I actually said I really like meditation and would ideally be a Buddhist monk). He had a different tactic and tried to convince me to try Catholic meditation/contemplation and try going to CUA to study with Jesuits. At least, my dad ended with do whatever you think is right, you’re a smart kid.
I think partially I’m doing this because I’ve long known that a lot of my mental blocks and limitations stem from habits I developed as a child with my parents. That ultimately, I had to overcome and reconcile all these things with my parents. And that my past career options that I was pursuing have all lost their flavor to me and I’m contemplating more radical, more risky, and more rewarding futures instead. And what son doesn’t want his parents’ nod of approval and support? Didn’t quite get it this time, but it’s been done at least.
I’ve always been interested in religion and in interfaith dialogue. I find myself adopting different bits and pieces from all over the place. I don’t think any single person or religion has a monopoly on truth. Even in the worse people, there’s something that one can learn. Indeed, it’s usually in the exceptional cases (good or bad) that we can learn the most.
But who wants to follow or read some guy who doesn’t have any affiliated group? Who says that everything has its faults and truths?
I would like to bridge the gap more between East and West, between religions, between science and spirituality, between psychology and spirituality. It’s already started and been happening the last 50 years but I want to do it more.
